New York, Anniversary, Jimmy Fallon, Awesome

Of course there's two sides to every story and today I'd like to talk about my New York trip and weigh the good with the bad in a segment I call "Pros and Cons".

Pros and Cons by The Roots

Pro                                         Con

 Seeing Times Square for the first time                    In the pouring rain, lugging a suitcase 

                                                                     and walking 2 blocks in the wrong direction.            

The weather was beautiful when we landed in New York.  It was nice on the bus from the airport, it looked great as we headed down into the subway station, and it was pouring when we walked back out of it.  We bought 2 $3 umbrellas which during our trek to the hotel managed to keep us dry from the shoulders up.   After our misadventure in the rain (walking 2 blocks in the wrong direction and passing a different subway station on our way to the hotel) Brett was banned from navigating.  

Luckily this was the only time it rained during our trip and later we were able to enjoy Times Square in freshly ironed clothes.  

Pro                                         Con

 Eating the best barbecue New York has to offer           which isn't quite as good as Texas
                                                                             barbecue.  Which is where we live.   

It was our first night, we were hungry, and it was close by.  It was very good, but it seems silly in hindsight to go all the way to New York to eat something you can pay half as much for in your home town. 

Pro                                         Con

 Getting VIP tickets to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon          realizing that VIP is an acronym
                                                                             for Very Inferior Peon.

I do not want any panties in a bunch over this, I am 100% incredibly unbelievably wonderfully totally inconceivably grateful that I had a guaranteed seat to LNJF.  Omigoodness, BEST ANNIVERSARY EVER.  I was surprised how many VIPs there were at this show.  In our line we were about the 30th and 31st person.  There was another line that got in before us -- by the time we got into the studio it was already half full.  At this point I was feeling even more grateful we had gotten tickets, because by the time the poor sad-sack standbys shuffled in they had been waiting in lines for HOURS, and then watched the show from the hard wooden benches in the back.  Not to mention the even sadder-sackier standbys who stood in line for hours and then didn't get a seat!  I was sittin pretty 6 rows back.

our awesome wristbands
and the tshirt we couldn't afford to buy

Pro                                         Con

Jimmy Fallon is my best friend.                          I am not even a blip on Jimmy's Radar.

Omigoodness, Jimmy came out of the curtain and pointed RIGHT AT ME!  His eyes bore into mine and I could clearly read in them, "I know you, we are one." A thrill ran up and down my spine. Goosebumps!  (Brett swears he was pointing at him, and apparently he had the same internal reaction.  Whatevs Brett, I am clearly Jimmy's BFF).  That was my moment (and probably every other person in the audiences' haha), because other than that first exit, there wasn't much more rapport with the audience. I was a little disappointed because honestly when you watch Jimmy on SNL and LNJF for years you really start to feel like he is your bestie.  He is funny and unassuming and just a real cool dude.  So I think deep down you think yeah, Jimmy is my friend.  But when it boils down to it this is a guy who sees a new studio audience every day, face after face after face.  Having a personal relationship with each and every one of them would be exhausting.  Especially because many of them are probably freeeeeeeeaks.  But I admit I was a little disappointed that there wasn't more give and take from Jimmy with the audience.  I understand where he's coming from.  In a, 'I am not a tv personality that weird girls fall in love with and weird dudes want to kill' kind of way.  

I know you can't tell, but his arm is raised and pointing right at me.  Or Brett.  or the dude sitting next to me. Connection is in the eye of the beholder I suppose.

Pro                                         Con

 Seeing Jimmy Fallon's Beautiful Face              Seeing Jimmy Fallon's beautiful behind.
                                                                       (A pro in any other context)

So at the end of every show Jimmy runs up and down the aisles shaking hands and signing autographs. Brett and I were poised and ready to shake his hand when Doofenshmirtz back there ruined it aaaaaallll.

Jimmy had run up the other aisle and was coming down ours.  Just as he was about to reach our row, Heinz Doofenshmirtz stands up and hands him this weird who knows what the heck it is T-Shirt.  Jimmy is all, "oh wow, thanks Doofenshmirtz.  I will now show this weird-A t-shirt to the camera as if I am going to treasure it rather than throw it in the goodwill bin the second I get off stage. Have fun seeing your t-shirt on a bum in two weeks."  So Jimmy takes 2 steps forward to do the camera shot of the t-shirt, and totally and completely bypasses our row.  We were left standing there with our hands extended like Sad-Sackians, watching Jimmy continue to shake everyone elses' hands but our own.  The couple sitting next to us didn't seem that broken up about it.  So we kicked their shins.  

Pro                                         Con

Lots of Nookie                                                         Too much Snooki

Don't worry, I won't go into detail.  Let's just say that 5 years of marriage and 2 nights without children is a great combo.  We had a gorgeous, quirky hotel in the heart of Times Square.  I thought I would die in its elevator a couple of times, but as you can see, still here.    Snookie brought us slippers, and since my mother taught me "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all," and I occasionally follow that advice, I will say no more about it.  We do love the semi-hideous, totes-comfy slippers though.

Holy Geez girl, close your mouth!

Joe Buck, a previous unknown to us sports-dummies, was actually an incredible guest.  We liked him a lot.  Jimmy also mentioned their movie Fever Pitch which we had actually watched the day before, so we felt pretty cool.  Then Tig Notoro did stand-up (instead of a musical guest) and she was HILARIOUS. Jimmy was cracking up during her bit, and it was really fun seeing him being entertained. The Roots were also totally and completely unbelievable, as usual.  In spite of Doofenshmirtz and the notorious Shake Shaft, the show was easily one of the best moments of our married life.

So, for all of you that helped make that happen,

T.H.A.N.K.Y.O.U

For everyone else, you suck.  Hahahaha, just kidding.  We love you too.  We pretty much love everyone right now.

The Whole she bangs, she bangs. Sorry, unrelated Ricky Martin moment.

Worst case scenario

So Brett was a little embarrassed by my smooshy (his word, not mine) anniversary post ("C'mon Kristina, no one wants to read that") So it is time to go the absolute opposite of smooshy and talk about what I painted after I produced those one of a kind, collector's itemish works of love art.

I tend to get carried away sometimes.  See, we got these awesome VIP tickets to late night, and ever since then my mind has been working a mile a minute on possible amazing scenarios that could occur while we were in New York.  I dream up awesome wedding crashes (which my honest husband refuses to even think of doing, BTW) or our hotel finding out it was our anniversary and comping our stay, or running into Jerry Seinfeld on the street, who then invites us home for dinner because we are just that cool and he wants to be BFFs forever (Best friends forever, FOREVER.)  Less dramatic scenarios include meeting Jimmy Fallon before/after our live taping, or getting a free tour of NBC universal studios.  But the point is, these kinds of things don't generally happen to regular ol' folks like us--and the more I dwell on what awesome stuff could happen, the more my hopes are raised that something totally awesome will happen, and the more I'm let down when only normal cool stuff happens (like attending a live taping of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.  HELLO!)  So to try and bring my expectations back down to a normal, reasonable level, I thought up the worst case scenario.  Cause if you are prepared for the worst, the ok seems pretty cool.  And the water colors were still out, so why not paint it, ya know?

New York City Trip: Worst Case Scenario

Brett woke up just as I was adding the final touches to the gangbanger who was running off with his bloody dagger and our fat wad of cash (we're high rollahs).  As you can imagine, he was quite horrified.

Brett: WHAT IS THAT.
Kristina (guesturing to Lovey art pasted all over the walls): I painted you happy anniversary pictures!!
Brett (pointing in disgust at the gangbanger running off with his dollahs): What is THAT.
Kristina: A gangbanger running off with your dollahs.
Brett: Why would you paint that.
Kristina: I don't want to be disappointed on this trip so I imagined the worst case scenario.
              Then I painted it.  Obviously.
Brett (blinking in disbelief): That is so wrong.

At this point Brett sits down at the kitchen table where Juliet, Bensen and I have been happily painting for the last hour, picks up a paintbrush and hammered out this little beauty.

New York City Trip: What would actually happen.

I guess I forgot to take into account Brett's mad Jiu-Jitzu skillz.  I stand corrected.

Anniversary by Watercolors

I was going to write out this really long sappy Anniversary post but honestly I'm not feeling very long and sappy.  So instead I'll talk about water colors.  As a happy 5th anniversary I let Brett sleep in this morning (seriously, kid was in bed til 10:30.  I didn't mind though).  So while Brett was sleeping the babies and I decided to water color, thus my new header, in honor of our 5 year anniversary until we get to actually celebrate our anniversary in NEW YORK CITY!

These are fully accurate representations of actual moments of our life together.

Scene 1                                             Scene 2                                               Scene3

Scene 1 depicts the moment that we knew we were in love.  We held hands and gazed over the San Francisco skyline and imagined our future life.  My eyes filled with tears as I painstakingly added every detail of this scene, from our hands clasped tightly, to our eyes - young, vibrant, and full of the hope of a loving and fulfilling life in each others' arms.  The love we felt was nearly palpable, and I believe that anyone who sees this work of art will be able to literally feel the love in the air, floating between us as though it were a giant voluminous red heart.

Scene 2 depicts what was written upon my own heart as I woke this morning, reflecting on the last 5 years I spent with this wonderful man.  Sweet and solemn, I could hardly put into words what I was feeling, so turned instead to paint and brush.  Although words and images will never be able to justly express the wonderful sentiment of five happy years together, I believe this scene is as close as art can ever come.  When I see it I am filled once again with those feelings I had this morning, and hope that others can understand just exactly what I wanted (but feel I truly failed) to say to my dear sweet husband.

Scene 3 depicts August 12, 2010 - an average day in the life of Brett and Kristina Foutz.  As I think is fairly obvious by our body language, Brett has just returned home from a hard day at work, to a sweet hug, kiss, and floaty heart from his wife of 4 years.  We stare lovingly into one another's eyes, reliving the triumphs we have enjoyed over the last few years, and looking forward to what lies ahead.  Love is in the air, every where I look around.  Love is in the air, every sight and every sound. And I don't know if I'm being foolish, I don't know if I'm being wise but it's something that I must believe in and it's there when I look in your eyes.

I know it's hard to believe, but I am planning on letting these babies go.  We are holding an Art Auction to raise money for our New York trip.  Bidding starts at $1,000 OBO.  Please leave your bid in a comment on this blog post.  

I dream of Jimmy (pronounce it Jeemy so it becomes a cool 1960s pop culture reference)

So I'm not generally an obsessive person, but ever since we got those tickets to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon I've been a little obsessed (in case those last few blog entries weren't a tip off).  We have been off the charts googling for a hotel that will fit our budget and also be clean.

they really want to overlap, they just can't seem to get there.

I've been googling for fun 'off the beaten path' stuff to do in NYC -- I've already been to a lot of the big tourist places and Brett just isn't touristy.

And of course, Jimmy.  We are freaking going to see Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.  I am so beyond excited about this, and feel like I have to get all the way caught up on my Jimmy Jargon.  There are so many SNL clips I've never seen, a few Late Night episodes I've missed, embarrassed to say I've never seen Taxi OR Fever Pitch and holy crap I am a google stalker!  This concentrated Jimmy Obsession has really worked a number on my brain, and it has been manifesting in a crazy reocurring couples date night dream.

They usually start just after the taping of Late Night when Jimmy is running up and down the aisles giving high fives and handshakes when he inexplicably stops right in front of me (and Brett, who is wearing a thundercats T-shirt, and I am wearing my wedding dress) and asks, so, you guys want to hang out tonight?  And I of course reply, "sure, we are in New York City but the only thing I want to do while I am here is have an awesomely tame game night!" Jimmy of course thinks this is a fabu-idea and we are magically transported to what I think is the 'living area' of our high class hotel room (this is when I start realizing I am dreaming because obviously we could not have afforded this hotel IRL).

Jimmy has brought his wife along (who is sometimes the lovely Nancy Juvonen and sometimes the equally lovely Denise Fallon) and we are sitting around the table playing Jenga (do people actually play this game any more?) when someone knocks on the door and low and behold, Tina Fey heard we were getting together and thought she'd stop by with Rich (shoot, I know his name is Jeff but she's the one calling him Rich so we all go along with it.). Sometimes it isn't Tina Fey who stops in.  Sometimes it is the New Kids on the Block (the 90's version)  one time it was A.D. Miles (we didn't let him in though, not sure why) and one time it was our good friends Spencer and Allison which clinches it for me that this is NOT a prophetic dream because although everything up to this point is believable, Spencer and Allison's surprise visit to NYC during our anniversary trip just isn't.  So there ya go, I cannot see the future.

So Tina and Rich come in and Brett bumps the table spilling Jenga tiles everywhere which was okay because no one cares for Jenga anyway and did Tina remember to bring Monopoly?  Someone suggests charades which to my waking mind seems like a fabulous idea.  But by the time I yell out "Lord of the Rings!" I'm back in Lubbock Texas tangled up in a sheet and accidentally elbowing Brett in the face.

I think it's time to lay off the google for a while, but not before I create this awesome composite of what dream couples game night looks like.

How Jimmy Fallon inadvertently made me a person of Walmart.

I know I have the tendency to ramble on, so I tried to bold the important bits that prove I can truly pin this on Jimmy.

Our budget is pretty tight.  We get a great discount on flights since Brett works for American, but the discounted tickets to paycheck ratio is not awesome, so we have to be careful how often we fly or we get no paycheck.  Though we originall planned on going to Sacramento and NYC this August, we honestly thought our NYC plans were ruined when we failed to secure Late Night tickets.  So instead of flying to NYC we flew our family to SLC for a reunion.  NYC airfare money spent!

Well then Jimmy (ie LNJF's audience coordinator) gets us tickets.  Something I honestly in a million years never thought would happen.  I guess I am more persuasive (twitter-spam-annoying) than I thought because NYC IS BACK ON! But that NYC airfare money?  Gone.  We need more cash to be able to make this trip happen!  So of course, being the responsible wonderful awesome husband and father and provider that he is, Brett picks up extra shifts to pay for a hotel in and airfare to NYC.  And when I mean extra shifts, I mean an extra shift every day.  This guy is working from 8 am til 12 am. Without complaint. Are you starting to understand why I love this man so much?  Well Brett starts this crazy shift before we get a chance to go grocery shopping.

So we are a 1 car family, and our 1 car is now gone from 7:30 am til 12:30 am. and there is no food in the house. My kids are not awake at either of those times so it makes it hard (not to mention expensive) to drive him.  He comes home the first night of working this ridiculous shift to a super stank wife who, instead of loving on him and telling him how awesome he is demands, "did you buy milk on your way home?" to which he should have replied, "back off woman, I just worked 16 hours and I'm tired and was thinking about going to bed the second I got home because I would have to be awake in 7 hours to go back to work the next morning so, no I didn't even think to buy your stupid milk on the way home."

I think what he actually said was, "no, I'm sorry" to which I should have thrown my arms around his neck and kissed the beejuz out of him for being so good, but instead I think I gave him more stank attitude. 

So totally put-out, I take the car grocery shopping at the only time I have it (1:30 a.m.) to the only grocery store open at that hour (wal-mart). To make matters worse, I haven't showered that day because I am gross like that, I am still in my pajamas and last but not least (unrealized by me until I actually arrived) I did not put a bra on.  

Yeah I was gross.

And thus, I became a person of Walmart.  Courtesy of Jimmy Fallon. 

So if you've ever wondered what kind of person does the full-on grocery shopping run at 2:00 in the morning, now you know.

I didn't stop to take a full-body picture.  YOU'RE WELCOME.

P.S.  I still think I have 1 degree left, in which I would like to mention that the 6 degrees game is most commonly referenced with Kevin Bacon, who it all really comes back to, ya know?

P.P.S.  If you are friends with me on facebook you have seen the unedited version of this photo.  Yes I photoshopped out my huge eyebrow zit.  And again, YOU'RE WELCOME.

P.P.P.S.  (seriously kristina?  YES!) Now I want you all to know that I felt very repentant of my attitude towards my dear sweet awesome husband almost the second I pulled out of our parking lot.  When I came home from the store at 2:30 in the morning and unloaded all 3 trips of groceries up the stairs to our second floor apartment I sat down and wrote him the most heartfelt "forgive me" note known to man.  Unfortunately it made a lot more sense at 2:30 am then it did at 7:00 am when he read it, but I think he got the gist of it.  I quote, "I love you so much, and if I expressed how much I loved you at even 50% capacity 100% of the time you would be blown away by expresso-love."

UPDATE:  I added the whole video for those who were confused about the Shia/Andy reference. I'm almost afraid to underwhelm you, but it is a Foutz Family Favorite.

Dear Kristina Foutz,

Dear Kristina,
You so rock.

Love,
Late Night with Jimmy Fallon

Okay, so it wasn't THAT epic, but it was pretty dang epic. Just got this email.

Dear Kristina,


Thank you for your interest in tickets to Late Night with Jimmy Fallon! Some
of the writers recently spotted your online plea to obtain tickets to an
August taping. We would love to help out a die hard fan of the show. If you
think you can still make the trip to NYC, we would like to set aside two VIP
tickets to the show on August 10th. Please see attached instructions for
ticket pick up.


Happy 5th Anniversary!


Brandon D.

Oh. My. Holy. Crap. We're going to see JIMMY!!!!


So I have to thank everyone that helped out, I know our video got posted and reposted on Facebook 298X and my original blog letter got reposted 238X.  The video recieved 500+ views, and at one point the blog was getting a hit every 2 minutes.  Not exactly viral, but not bad for a letter that started in LUBBOCK TEXAS!  We made it to New York you guys, courtesy of awesome you guys!

Special thanks to Patrick Borelli.  I am 100% convinced that it was his intervention that got us noticed by the Audience coordinator.  But if anyone else from LNJF wants to refute that, feel free!

Now excuse me, I have some more girlish squealing and hokey dancing to take care of.

Dear Jimmy Fallon: I made you a video.

A little update.
Up to this very second this video has been shared on facebook over 30X (I posted it in the wee hours last night so that's pretty awesome) and my letter has been shared 222X on facebook. Cool.
Pretty much I have the best friends and family ever. And they have the best friends and family ever. And so on.




Thank you thank you thank you everyone! and Thank you, youtube, for finding the most awkward image in my video and choosing it for the main still and thumbnail.

Dear Jimmy Fallon

Dear Jimmy,

I blew it.

This year for our 5th anniversary my husband and I planned on dropping our kids off with Grandma in Sacramento, California and flying to New York for 3 days. The plans were going so well. We were doing NYC low-budget but that was ok, because we had a dream, and our dream was to see a live-taping of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

If I wanted to make a short story long and run the risk of possibly boring you, I might go into detail how as a young couple going to school and working alternating hours the only time we were able to be together generally started around 11:30 p.m. CST. I might mention that we only had 2 channels that our bunny ears antenna picked up, and I could possibly continue on about how we strengthened our marriage through laughter and a communal love for good stand-up comedy. If I really wanted to wax long on how much Late Night with Jimmy Fallon has meant to us I might continue to talk about how it has been an important tradition in our marriage for the last five years (okay we watched Conan for a few years but he was just a gateway host), and how the culminating event of our 5 year marriage was to enjoy a live taping of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon. But I don’t want to rattle on, so I’ll try to keep it short.

And the short of it is that after calling every other day for weeks, I somehow missed the window to aquire tickets for Late Night with Jimmy Fallon from August 9th, 10th, or 11th. Hence the blowing of the Anniversary trip.

I wish I could say that I was so involved in caring for my two young children that I didn’t have time to call in and get the tickets. But honestly I was probably sitting in front of the computer googling “cheap hotels in New York City.” Or even more likely I was hitting “stumble” over and over again in an internet-induced coma.

Long story shorter, no tickets.

My Husband took the bad news in stride. He pointed out that we really couldn’t afford the trip anyway, and since the ultra-magnetic pull of possibly being able to see a taping of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon was gone, we would probably be better off sticking close to Sacramento for our anniversary. Now my googling changed to “cheap hotels in Sacramento.” Until my dear sweet starving student of a husband noticed what I was doing.

I cannot say anything bad about my husband. He works long hard hours. He is a full-time student. He is an amazing father. He is a beyond wonderful man. But some times he does fall a little short on romance. Especially on this occasion when he insisted, “I’m not spending money on a Hotel when we have some place we can stay for free.”

Some place we can stay for free. At his mother’s house. For our 5 year anniversary.

So now instead of being whisked away to spend 3 carefree days and 2 steamy nights in glamorous New York City I have been reduced to sleeping at my mother in law’s house. In a full-size bed. Next door to my teenage sisters in law. With my 4 year old sleeping on the floor at the foot of our bed and my 2 year old most likely nestled between me and my husband.

You can see why a girl can start to look a bit desperate and crazy around the eyes.

So Jimmy, if you can help a girl out, please send us some tickets. We don’t even need chairs, we’ll sit at the back of the room and try and duck to see under the stage lights. Or we’ll dress up like cowboys and dance behind the Roots like that one guy did that one time (my husband says I was hallucinating but I swear I saw him) or if you can at least tell me the name of the musical guest I’ll make a last ditch effort to get in the band. Are the Roots having any kind of audtions?

If this is not within your power or your desires I can understand. But like the Moochers Association of America taught me, it never hurts to ask.

Many thanks!
-Kristina Foutz

kriskrisfoutz@gmail.com

p.s. I may have sent multiple copies of this letter to different places in the hopes that at least one got through to someone. So . . . if you get like 80 I am really terribly sorry.

Jimmy carefully considering my  request.