Saturday, August 6, 2011

Worst case scenario

So Brett was a little embarrassed by my smooshy (his word, not mine) anniversary post ("C'mon Kristina, no one wants to read that") So it is time to go the absolute opposite of smooshy and talk about what I painted after I produced those one of a kind, collector's itemish works of love art.

I tend to get carried away sometimes.  See, we got these awesome VIP tickets to late night, and ever since then my mind has been working a mile a minute on possible amazing scenarios that could occur while we were in New York.  I dream up awesome wedding crashes (which my honest husband refuses to even think of doing, BTW) or our hotel finding out it was our anniversary and comping our stay, or running into Jerry Seinfeld on the street, who then invites us home for dinner because we are just that cool and he wants to be BFFs forever (Best friends forever, FOREVER.)  Less dramatic scenarios include meeting Jimmy Fallon before/after our live taping, or getting a free tour of NBC universal studios.  But the point is, these kinds of things don't generally happen to regular ol' folks like us--and the more I dwell on what awesome stuff could happen, the more my hopes are raised that something totally awesome will happen, and the more I'm let down when only normal cool stuff happens (like attending a live taping of Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.  HELLO!)  So to try and bring my expectations back down to a normal, reasonable level, I thought up the worst case scenario.  Cause if you are prepared for the worst, the ok seems pretty cool.  And the water colors were still out, so why not paint it, ya know?

New York City Trip: Worst Case Scenario

Brett woke up just as I was adding the final touches to the gangbanger who was running off with his bloody dagger and our fat wad of cash (we're high rollahs).  As you can imagine, he was quite horrified.

Kristina (guesturing to Lovey art pasted all over the walls): I painted you happy anniversary pictures!!
Brett (pointing in disgust at the gangbanger running off with his dollahs): What is THAT.
Kristina: A gangbanger running off with your dollahs.
Brett: Why would you paint that.
Kristina: I don't want to be disappointed on this trip so I imagined the worst case scenario.
              Then I painted it.  Obviously.
Brett (blinking in disbelief): That is so wrong.

At this point Brett sits down at the kitchen table where Juliet, Bensen and I have been happily painting for the last hour, picks up a paintbrush and hammered out this little beauty.

New York City Trip: What would actually happen.

I guess I forgot to take into account Brett's mad Jiu-Jitzu skillz.  I stand corrected.


The Youngs said...

That is SO funny! You two are hilarious!

Kristina said...

ahh thanks!! You guys should be our friends haha. And thanks for leaving a comment. It's like pulling teeth to get people to comment on here! (Actually I'm not sure what pulling teeth is like, but I'm sure yer hubby will acknowledge that it is indeed very much like trying to get traffic on your blog)

Stacie said...

Is it to crass to just leave a comment saying "LOL"?

Jenny said...

Ha Ha!!! So! Funny!

Cheryl Anne said...

I actually did laugh out loud. :)

Kristina said...

Stacie, LOL is a perfectly acceptable response although Jenny's was a bit more engaging (notice the adept use of exclamation points). But since you seem to be in the habit of commenting on most of my blogposts I give you free reign to comment lazily. Use this power wisely.

Jenny -- seriously you guys need to update more often. Did you know I didn't even know you were pregnant with #2 until your baby was BORN? That is 9 months of shameful non-updateness. ;)

Cheryl -- thanks for stopping in! and thanks for appreciating what others may have found highly disturbing.

Anonymous said...

oh, you are a scream! and such a gifted painter as well! your hubby is a complete riot. you must feel so safe walking the dark streets of lubbock with your own personal bodyguard watching out for ya! ny should be no big deal.

Anonymous said...

oh dear. i apparently signed in under my daughter's school email or something. i'm going to attempt to sign out of hers and into my own account but in case it doesn't work (which it really might not since i am now typing this for the second time), this is actually klbezooyen from ilp.

kimberly mann said...

you are too funny...and a husband who paints?!?!? I so want to be your friend! posting from ilp too.

Jenn said...

Ahhhh haaaahhhh!!!! I love you guys!

Audrey said...

love it, Kristina! And, as a painter, I am quite impressed with the watercolor skills you both possess. :-)

Audrey said...

(oh, and "Audrey" is SallyKate from ILP)

Just Beachy said...

seriously crying that was so funny! A-mazing. BPF forever (Best post forever, forever.)