Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Not for Nothing

Bedtime at the Foutz home consists of a lot of running around, cajoling, pleading, some tears, ingested tooth paste, and very occasionally, sleep.  We have tried different bedtime routines to try and get the kids to settle in and calm down, and unfortunately haven't had a lot of success.  Our most recent attempt are hymns and primary songs.  Right around 8:30 Mom starts to sing.  I sing as we pick up the front room, I sing as we get teeth brushed, I sing while Juliet uses the potty one last time, I sing as Bensen escapes once more down the hallway to hide in some random closet, and I sing as kids are once more captured, kicking and screaming.  I sing a lot right before bed, and sometimes it helps and sometimes it doesn't.

The days it doesn't help are the worst because honestly, I don't feel like singing.  It seems pointless to continue on with "Teach me to walk in the light" when two kids are running up and down a darkened hallway.  "Do as I'm doing" seems a little silly when one child is jumping on a bed, the other is pulling out blocks and I am alone in the bathroom singing at the top of my lungs as I brush my teeth.  "I have a family here on Earth" seems a far stretch when my two sweet hooligans are screaching in a most unearthly tone.

I was feeling just that way.  I was sitting alone in the living room, singing "I am a child of God" to myself waiting for my kids to file in for family prayer (hopelessly waiting) when the most awful wave of pointlessness washed over me.  Why sing?  My kids were as wild as usual, it wasn't particularly making me feel better, and it was probably making the neighbors crazy.  So, with "parents kind and dear" barely whispering past my lips, I sank down to the carpet in silence.  I was done singing.

My children, who had been playing at who knows what in the bathroom sink, suddenly stopped chattering.  I saw Juliet peak out the bathroom door at me down the hallway, making sure I hadn't mysteriously died I'm sure.  Convinced that all was well, she disappeared into the bathroom again.  All was quiet.

Then, belted on a small, yet piercing voice I heard "LEAD ME GUIDE ME WALK BESIDE ME HELP ME FIND THE WAY!" echoing through the bathroom and down the hall.
I had no idea she knew the words.

What a sweet and gentle reminder that not only can my children hear me, they are listening and learning.

So now I'm back to singing again.


Havilah said...

Awww.. you made me cry because I know EXACTLY how you feel.

Kelli Foutz said...

Keep up the wonderful job little mama! Love you all!