Friday, September 30, 2011

Today I ran 5k.

10:30 p.m. - I wanted to thwart the sun's evil plan to destroy me with warm sunshiney rays and get up before sunrise to do my 5k.  So I decided to go to bed early.

1:30 a.m. - Woken up to Brett's pleas for help.  Juliet, after two days straight of cake and icecream, rebels against all the fun and sugar by throwing up noisily and messily in her bed.  Bensen thankfully sleeps through it.  I miss my washer and dryer desperately.

2:00 a.m. - Back to bed.

5:00 a.m. - Brett is yelling again.  I get up to investigate.  He is still up working on his project.  He is yelling at the computer.  I am annoyed.  Back to bed.

6:30 a.m. - Brett finally comes to bed.  Dude is crazy.  But at least his project is done!

7:00 a.m. - Alarm goes off.  I can hear Bensen awake, playing in the bathroom.  I do not want to get up.

7:30 a.m. - Get out of bed. Get dressed.  Neti my nose (seriously that thing is a lifesaver)

7:45 a.m. - start my run.  Bob Marley's 3 little birds play, and although there aren't any birds on my doorstep, I do look out at the rising sun, and get a bit of a giggle.

My run:
a: Bob Marley is still playing, and I actually run past Bob Marley.

b: I am running without any ID and there is this little bridge here that doesn't have a sidewalk.  I start imagining that I get hit by a car and fall down in this reservoir.  I am too weak to crawl out.  I rig my cellphone so that it becomes a tracking signal and attempt to flag down the doctor.  For a moment I forget that Doctor Who is a fictional tv show I have been watching entirely too much of recently.

c: run into Bob Marley again, only this time he triest to hand me some literature about his bible study group.  normally I would love to hang around, chat, and let him down easy.  But I am already hating my life with more than 3 k to go.  I breeze right past him saying (probably shouting because I am wearing earbuds) "I have a bible that I read thank you!"  Poor Bob Marley.  His song is way over, and "Riders on the storm" doesn't make me want to stop for anyone.  I skipped most of it.

d: run past Justine's house.  I feel sad, because Justine has lived here for a year now and we should have been best friends but I stink at making friends and I just never put any effort into it.  She is moving far away this week.  Also a little mexican man starts walking towards me.  But he doesn't try to hand me literature about his bible study group, so I like him well enough and huff out a "morning" as I wobble by and think it is funny that I am listening to Bambaleo while I run past a mexican.

e: I must have blacked out because I do not remember running down this street at all.

f: around k 3 I start thinking that I will cut across the green line labeled f and go home.  It was a great idea, but for some reason I didn't do it.

g: I remember imagining getting hit by a car near the beginning of my run and now I hope with all my might I will accidentally run into the free way and get killed instantly by oncoming traffic.  But for some reason I didn't do it.  My ipod is playing "Why do I keep counting" but all I hear is "Why do I keep running"

h: must have blacked out again.

i: This is a funny ol stretch of road.  Last month when I started "running" I couldn't get up it and back down to my house again without wanting to die, and now I am running down it as the last k in my 5k.  Granted, your athletic grandma could outrun me at this point, but c'mon, that's some progress!
I decide to walk for a minute but there are these movers staring at me so I decide not to.  They watch me the whole rest of the street so I can't walk or they will know how fat I am.  For some reason this made me think of my brother Daniel, ducking behind a bush after a short sprint so noone would see him panting.  He is in much better shape now and can bike hundreds of miles.  I can barely run 3.

j: I start halucinating.  I see a man on a motorcycle and think it is Justin Pratt.  I know it isn't Justin Pratt because Justin Pratt is dead.  I know that I am hallucinating because Justing Pratt isn't dead, he's just in UT.  Justin Pratt the undead motorcycle guy speeds away.
But I'm on the homestretch now, and "Major Tom" is playing, and by golly the earth below me feels like it is drifting, falling, but I am coming home.

k: I hit 5k and cry walk back to my apartment.

8:30 a.m. - Victory is mine.

I know what you are thinking, isn't the 5k tomorrow?
Why yes it is.
So why run 5k today?
To prove that I can.  Just in case tomorrow I can't.


Sallie said...

Hey! Love the blog...I saw it on Southplains. ARe you interested in running another 5k on November 12? A girl in my ward and I are putting one on for WPS and YWCA and it is going to be fabulous. Check it out at

The Youngs said...

You are so funny :) I used to see that 'Bob Marley" guy all the time, he also shared his message with me one morning and all I could think was, "don't you know you're not supposed to approach a woman walking with her child? I don't know you, you could attack me." I'm a little paranoid like that. And I know, we should have been better friends, but I suck too, sigh.