Thursday, March 25, 2010

The Inexperienced Mother.

The inexperienced mother is a firm believer that one of the worst places a 2-year-old can throw up is in her toddler bed. A 4 a.m. adventure should not consist of stripping a bed of sheets, mattress covers, stuffed animals and pillows, two loads of laundry, and a bath. The inexperienced mother hees and haws about such a trial, but finally rearranges bedding with new sheets and blankets and her child in soft new jammies. She brushes and blowdries shiny curls and snuggles down on a couch to comfort her child. The inexperienced mother does not consider how much vomit a 2 year old stomach can hold, and thus the inexperienced mother is surprised to be running towards a toilet, a garbage can, ANYTHING! at 4:30 a.m., unhappy soiled 2 year old in tow. The inexperienced mother has learned 2 new things.

1. When throw-up has occurred, the chances of throw-up occurring again increase dramatically.
2. Throw-up in a toddler bed isn't so bad as throw up on the carpet, on the kitchen floor, in the trash can and on the inexperienced mother.

The inexperienced mother is flexible, she takes such challenges in tow. Soon the child (and the inexperienced mother) is in new pajamas. The child's hair is rewashed, recombed, and redried. A bucket has appeared beside the couch. The inexperienced mother soothes her child, and soon everyone is tucked safely back in bed.

Morning breaks. The 2-year-old is awake and climbing on everything. The inexperienced mother convinces herself the proceedings of the night before were a fluke. The inexperienced mother feeds her 2-year-old cereal and yogurt. The 2-year-old is crazy with delight. The inexperienced mother decides the day could turn out well! Plans ensue, errands are to be run! The family bundles into the car. The day looks bright for the inexperienced mother. She has already forgotten her lesson from the night before. She is violently reminded all over the carseat, inside slightly unzipped jackets, into the cracks of buckles and onto a recently favored book. The inexperienced mother learns a new lesson.

3. Throw up in a toddler bed, on the carpet, or on clothing isn't so bad as throw up in the car.

The inexperienced mother drives home, plans unexecuted. Back into the bath goes the 2-year-old. And the carseat.

The couch is lined with towels, a bucket is on hand, crackers and gingerale are on the menu.

The experienced mother emerges.

ETA: Brett was awake and working with us for most of the night venture. He is fantastic! Amazing! Wonderful! I don't know what I would do without him. He was however, most fortunate to be able to get out of the car and walk to class about 2 minutes after the car episode.


Jones said...

The inexperienced mother has never had a child vomit in her ear while she is still asleep. That beats bed, carpet, child seat.

Kristina said...

that's funny, my sister said the same thing!!
i choose te remain inexperienced. :)

Kelli said...

I am so glad you wrote this down. It will be one of your favorite stories later on, I promise. One teaspoon of ginger ale every fifteen minutes will keep a child from dehydrating and doesn't overload their stomach. Works great. You are a great Mom!

Melanie said...

Awesome. Amen. hattie threw up once on the way to Dallas. Gratefully we were near a town so we could sort of clean up, but it was a stinky drive for the remaining 2 hours. I would much rather clean up diarrhea to vomit.