All my projects.

I don't know if this is a problem that all women face but I'd wager that it affects 85% of all women in one form or another (I used a hypothetical statistic to make my point seem more legitimate).

Projects.

Not just projects but PROJECTS.  As in, you started one thing and then started something else before finishing that one thing although finishing that one thing would have taken maybe an hour but now it is 2 years later and those two little somethings left undone have reproduced into a million billion little somethings that with a little work would be done but instead are left to form their own families of little somethings.

Little reproducing bunny something projects.  This is my problem, and the problem that I would wager affects 85% of all women in one form or another.

For example:

Floor pillows: Started September 2010.  Status: 90% completed.

Amigurumi Koala Bear: Started April 2010. Status: 10% completed.

Girl Child: Started September 2007.  Status: 16% completed.

Boy Child: Started April 2009.  Status: 11% completed.

Blog: Started February 2008.  Status: always behind schedule.

That totally awesome idea for a Musical I had: Started April 2011. Status: 2% completed.

Photography Whatever the heck it is: Started January 2003.  Status: in production.

Egg Garden: Started March 2011.  Status: 25% completed.

Window Garden: Started March 2011.  Status: Killed by husband. Currently suspended.

Painting Walls: Started March 2011.  Status: 1% completed.

Photo Mural: Started April 2011.  Statis: Very far behind.

All of these projects (and more) are currently in reproduction.  And yet what did I do today?  Did I work on any one of these projects?  

Nope.  I started a new one.

HUZZAH!

Easter!

This is a TERRIBLY done easter video.  It is beyond boring unless you love my babies, which as it turns out, I do!  So for all of you that:

a. love my babies

b. love willy wonka and the chocolate factory

c. have a weird obsession with eggs

d. are beyond bored

or e. all of the above

ENJOY!  Otherwise you may want to skip.

Broken Blogger

I had such high hopes for this blog, back when I decided it should be mine again. The last few months I have learned something a bit terrifying. I am boring. Each day has a pretty standard schedule: wake up in an empty bed to the unyielding shouts of a two year old. Mom! Mommy! Mom! Mommy! Time to cook up a bleary-eyed breakfast and unload the dishwasher. Time to forget to change a soggy morning diaper, time to feel guilty about not remembering to change it, time for family feud, the gameshow or the impending run-in with a surly 3 year old. Time for lunch, naps, and maybe some photography. Nope, not photography, laundry.I can get lost in the schedule for days and weeks at a time, and then it is time to get out of Lubbock, where the schedule generally resumes once we've landed in Oklahoma or Utah or Boise or california. The basics are so similar and tedious it is often hard to recognize and celebrate the intricates that make each day special. Like the first time Juliet ever said, "I love you too, Mom." instead of just parroting "I love you" back to me. Or the time bensen fell off a chair and immediately called out for daddy instead of mom.
That is the kind of stuff I hoped to blog more about. But instead I am up to my ears in memory foam, blogging about what I should have blogged but still haven't. And by the way i've been to Houston twice, am in Oklahoma, and will be in Utah for the third time and Boise for the second since the last time I blogged. I am a blailure. Or, blogging failure. At least I am not a momilure, as my children are still alive and fairly happy. And well traveled.

Why do I love this picture?

I love it because I know that giant blobby thing on the right of the image is actually Juliet.  I love it because the light source was a TV and nothing else, and c'mon that is just cool.  I love that even though you can't tell, Bensen is mirroring Juliet.  I love it because they are my babies.

So even though it's not that great of an image, all ya'll can see it and know that I love it!!

Who Loves the Oscars? Kristina Loves the Oscars.

I LOVE THE OSCARS.  And I may never forgive my two adorable children for making me miss the first half of the 2011 Oscars (although judging from the video clips I dug up of Franco and Hathaway hosting, maybe I should be thanking them.)

One thing I have to say, I loved the stage.  The main stage with the lights in the floor was really my favorite thing of all time.  I just adored it.  They did great on the set design this year, it really was magical.

Best Presenter was def. Jeff Bridges.  First off, doesn't he just have the best voice?  Second off, he is Kevin Flynn aka looks awesome in a neon tracksuit at 30 and even better in his spiritual lideresque glowy cloak at 60 (don't tell me you haven't seen the new tron and yes I have a thing for old dudes). At any rate, Bridges Oscar presentation was personal, sweet and heartfelt.
Love love love this picture, BTW, talk about deer in headlights.   Jeff's rockin the beard (and yes Natalie Portman was absolutely stunning in her bump friendly gown)

Worst presenter There were some pretty awkward moments this year but I don't think anything was more awkward than James Franco the whole night.  He is saying now how he doesn't care if he was the worst host in Oscar History, but by golly I had to sit through that and I care!  Someone needs to put together an intervention for that boy.  I was so relieved when Billy Crystal came on stage because I thought for one glorious moment they had called the bullpen and begged him to relieve Franco.

Best Acceptance Speech Lot of beautiful speeches this year.  Christian Bale was pretty cute getting choked up over his wife, Colin Firth (who I have been dying to see win an oscar!) did a magnificent job, but honestly my favorite was from directer Tom Hooper.  And I'm not usually impressed by directors!  (Spielburg did a fantastic job presenting the award for best picture, however!)

Worst Acceptance Speech Melissa Leo.  Yeah, we were all surprised you won too after your little "vote for me" stunt, but dropping the f-bomb is so cheap.  Get some class girl.

Last year I really focused on best and worst dressed at the Oscars (Ironic since I have no sense of fashion whatsoever) but honestly this year there weren't any dresses that stood out to me as total misses.  Okay I have already started lying, there was one.  And it was so horrid I haven't been able to find a picture of it online.   This is two years in a row Kathryn Bigelow has made my worst dressed list.  Now, I know she isn't an actress, and so the pressure for her to wear the big wow gown is off, but honestly sister!  You are at the OSCARS.  You are presenting an AWARD!  Please put a little more thought into what you are going to wear! Last year she sported an early 90s prom dress and this year she sported a 1970s potato sack.  So dissappointing.  I will most likely never attend the Oscars, yet I feel I have put more thought into my Oscar dress than this woman!
Speaking of, guess who was wearing my dress this year?  Hailee Steinfeld.
Keep in mind this isn't my Best Dressed pick, but this is my "closest to what Kristina would wear if ever she attended the Oscars" pick.  I love love love this and it is eerily similar to many of my oscar dress sketches.  No I will not share them with you.

Well I am feeling too totally lazy to pull up all the pictures for you, so if you are really curious google is your friend.

Best dressed

Halle Berry- always stunning!

michelle williams

Scarlett Johansen

Mandy Moore

MOST of Anne Hathaway, minus that 20's flapper dress with the fringe all over.  Was not a fan of that one.

on the fence
(I really want to like it but just can't bring myself to)
Cate Blanchett
nicole kidman
Florence Welch

Meh
(got a lot of press but didn't impress me much)
jennifer lawrence (she looked like an oscar tribute to Pamela Anderson in Baywatch)
Celine Dione

Worst dressed
Kathryn Bigelow -- already vented about this.
Sandra Bullock -- Mostly her hair.  Why Sandra, why?
Marisa Tomel -- pretty sure this was her prom dress from the early 80s that she had handy in her closet.
Melissa Leo -- I really wanted to like it, but the high colar and the giant design were too much.  I hope to see a really elegant lace dress at the oscars some day, but this wasn't the day.

Well that is my little schpiel about the second half of the Oscars.  Did I mention I loooove the oscars?

You can't always get what you want.

Unless you are Juliet Foutz.

I try to be a good mother, and being a good mother to a 3 year old consists of saying 'no' a lot.
Sometimes you have to say no to keep her safe.
"Can I take the bread out of the oven?"
"No."
"Can I run with scissors?"
"No."
"Can I sit on the counter next to this pot of boiling eggs and stir it with this dirty pancake-batter-coated whisk I found in the dishwasher?"

"No."

Sometimes you have to say no to keep her healthy.
"Can I have a Marshmallow?"
"No."
"Cake?"
"Cookies?"
"Icecream?"
"An egg?"


"NO." Ok sometimes when she asks for an egg I say yes.  In fact I even say yes sometimes when she asks for other less wholesome things, cause you know, a marshmallow never killed anyone (that I know of, but certainly not a 3 year old).

"Did you say no?"
Yes.
"Did you say yes?"
No.
"oooOOOOhhhhhhh."

At which point she walks out of the room in a deceptively complacent way.  She'll make you think that she's defeated, but don't be fooled.  She is waiting.  She is plotting.

For Valentines day we made sugar cookies.  And then we binged on sugar cookies.  My mother sense finally kicked in after the sugar rush started winding down and I put everything away.

"Can I have some more cookies?"
No.
"oooOOOOOoohhhh"
"In fact, it is time for bed."
"oooOOOOOoohhhh"


I put the kids to bed and then, to be safe, I put the cookies in a tupperware container and put them on top of the fridge.  I was certain she wouldn't be able to get them.
So certain, in fact, that I sat down at the computer and oblivious to the world started putting the last finishing touches on Brett's Valentine's Day present.  30 minutes later I suddenly felt prompted to check in on the kids (mother's intuition was apparently running a little slow that night) only to find Juliet holed up with what was once an entire bowl of frosting.  Oops. At least I had saved the cookies, right?  Not for long.  Next morning I got out of the shower to find 3 children sitting in front of the tv with a cookie in each hand.


JULIET!  Where are the cookies???
"On the fridge."


Sure enough, that little tart had dragged a chair into the kitchen, climbed onto the counter, got a step up in the kitchen cabinet to reach the cookies on the fridge, got down, doled the cookies out to everyone, and then climbed back onto the fridge to replace the empty tupperware container.

No, no she is not defeated.  She is only biding her time.

Thought she would help herself to some cake as I was busy writing this blog.

Taking back the blog.

I miss writing.  I used to write all the time, especially while I was in school.  I used to keep a fabulous journal that was sticky sweet with Kristina-isms and Krisonality.  I thought I could incorporate that into this blog, but I haven't.  I am too worried about who is reading and what they want to know about that I never write what I want to write about anymore.

Well, no more!  Here and now I am taking back the blog.  I am going to care less about what I think others want to read and more about what I want to write.  I'm sure you'll still be overwhelmed with photos and tidbits about my kids because that is my life right now.  But now it's going to be on my terms.  And I'm ok with that.

Hope you are too.

That is all.

-Kristina.