Unless you are Juliet Foutz.
I try to be a good mother, and being a good mother to a 3 year old consists of saying 'no' a lot.
Sometimes you have to say no to keep her safe.
"Can I take the bread out of the oven?"
"No."
"Can I run with scissors?"
"No."
"Can I sit on the counter next to this pot of boiling eggs and stir it with this dirty pancake-batter-coated whisk I found in the dishwasher?"
"No."
Sometimes you have to say no to keep her healthy.
"Can I have a Marshmallow?"
"No."
"Cake?"
"Cookies?"
"Icecream?"
"An egg?"
"NO." Ok sometimes when she asks for an egg I say yes. In fact I even say yes sometimes when she asks for other less wholesome things, cause you know, a marshmallow never killed anyone (that I know of, but certainly not a 3 year old).
"Did you say no?"
Yes.
"Did you say yes?"
No.
"oooOOOOhhhhhhh."
At which point she walks out of the room in a deceptively complacent way. She'll make you think that she's defeated, but don't be fooled. She is waiting. She is plotting.
For Valentines day we made sugar cookies. And then we binged on sugar cookies. My mother sense finally kicked in after the sugar rush started winding down and I put everything away.
"Can I have some more cookies?"
No.
"oooOOOOOoohhhh"
"In fact, it is time for bed."
"oooOOOOOoohhhh"
I put the kids to bed and then, to be safe, I put the cookies in a tupperware container and put them on top of the fridge. I was certain she wouldn't be able to get them.
So certain, in fact, that I sat down at the computer and oblivious to the world started putting the last finishing touches on Brett's Valentine's Day present. 30 minutes later I suddenly felt prompted to check in on the kids (mother's intuition was apparently running a little slow that night) only to find Juliet holed up with what was once an entire bowl of frosting. Oops. At least I had saved the cookies, right? Not for long. Next morning I got out of the shower to find 3 children sitting in front of the tv with a cookie in each hand.
JULIET! Where are the cookies???
"On the fridge."
Sure enough, that little tart had dragged a chair into the kitchen, climbed onto the counter, got a step up in the kitchen cabinet to reach the cookies on the fridge, got down, doled the cookies out to everyone, and then climbed back onto the fridge to replace the empty tupperware container.
No, no she is not defeated. She is only biding her time.
2 comments:
marshmallows might not be dangerous to 3 year olds, but they were almost fatal to this 7 year old!
http://abclocal.go.com/wpvi/story?section=news/local&id=7903962
These pictures are priceless. I especially like the one of her holding the scissors with half of her hair cut off. Grace has done that... I've definitely come to doubt some of the "innocence of children" since becoming the mother of a toddler. They can be so devious. ;) I guess it's just that they're not accountable for it yet...
Post a Comment