Today I ran 5k.

10:30 p.m. - I wanted to thwart the sun's evil plan to destroy me with warm sunshiney rays and get up before sunrise to do my 5k.  So I decided to go to bed early.

1:30 a.m. - Woken up to Brett's pleas for help.  Juliet, after two days straight of cake and icecream, rebels against all the fun and sugar by throwing up noisily and messily in her bed.  Bensen thankfully sleeps through it.  I miss my washer and dryer desperately.

2:00 a.m. - Back to bed.

5:00 a.m. - Brett is yelling again.  I get up to investigate.  He is still up working on his project.  He is yelling at the computer.  I am annoyed.  Back to bed.

6:30 a.m. - Brett finally comes to bed.  Dude is crazy.  But at least his project is done!

7:00 a.m. - Alarm goes off.  I can hear Bensen awake, playing in the bathroom.  I do not want to get up.

7:30 a.m. - Get out of bed. Get dressed.  Neti my nose (seriously that thing is a lifesaver)

7:45 a.m. - start my run.  Bob Marley's 3 little birds play, and although there aren't any birds on my doorstep, I do look out at the rising sun, and get a bit of a giggle.

My run:

a: Bob Marley is still playing, and I actually run past Bob Marley.

b: I am running without any ID and there is this little bridge here that doesn't have a sidewalk.  I start imagining that I get hit by a car and fall down in this reservoir.  I am too weak to crawl out.  I rig my cellphone so that it becomes a tracking signal and attempt to flag down the doctor.  For a moment I forget that Doctor Who is a fictional tv show I have been watching entirely too much of recently.

c: run into Bob Marley again, only this time he triest to hand me some literature about his bible study group.  normally I would love to hang around, chat, and let him down easy.  But I am already hating my life with more than 3 k to go.  I breeze right past him saying (probably shouting because I am wearing earbuds) "I have a bible that I read thank you!"  Poor Bob Marley.  His song is way over, and "Riders on the storm" doesn't make me want to stop for anyone.  I skipped most of it.

d: run past Justine's house.  I feel sad, because Justine has lived here for a year now and we should have been best friends but I stink at making friends and I just never put any effort into it.  She is moving far away this week.  Also a little mexican man starts walking towards me.  But he doesn't try to hand me literature about his bible study group, so I like him well enough and huff out a "morning" as I wobble by and think it is funny that I am listening to Bambaleo while I run past a mexican.

e: I must have blacked out because I do not remember running down this street at all.

f: around k 3 I start thinking that I will cut across the green line labeled f and go home.  It was a great idea, but for some reason I didn't do it.

g: I remember imagining getting hit by a car near the beginning of my run and now I hope with all my might I will accidentally run into the free way and get killed instantly by oncoming traffic.  But for some reason I didn't do it.  My ipod is playing "Why do I keep counting" but all I hear is "Why do I keep running"

h: must have blacked out again.

i: This is a funny ol stretch of road.  Last month when I started "running" I couldn't get up it and back down to my house again without wanting to die, and now I am running down it as the last k in my 5k.  Granted, your athletic grandma could outrun me at this point, but c'mon, that's some progress!
I decide to walk for a minute but there are these movers staring at me so I decide not to.  They watch me the whole rest of the street so I can't walk or they will know how fat I am.  For some reason this made me think of my brother Daniel, ducking behind a bush after a short sprint so noone would see him panting.  He is in much better shape now and can bike hundreds of miles.  I can barely run 3.

j: I start halucinating.  I see a man on a motorcycle and think it is Justin Pratt.  I know it isn't Justin Pratt because Justin Pratt is dead.  I know that I am hallucinating because Justing Pratt isn't dead, he's just in UT.  Justin Pratt the undead motorcycle guy speeds away.
But I'm on the homestretch now, and "Major Tom" is playing, and by golly the earth below me feels like it is drifting, falling, but I am coming home.

k: I hit 5k and cry walk back to my apartment.

8:30 a.m. - Victory is mine.

I know what you are thinking, isn't the 5k tomorrow?
Why yes it is.
So why run 5k today?
To prove that I can.  Just in case tomorrow I can't.

The blog entry that never was.

So I had this fabu idea.  See, while I run I usually think of all these amazing things I can post on my blog.  Seriously they are golden. People see me running along, laughing hysterically to myself and think, "dang, that girl has got some awesome blogging ideas going on!" But then I get home, shower, take Brett to school, do something with my children, put everyone down for a nap, sit at the computer and.......... nothing!  Cannot think of one golden nugget from that morning.

So yesterday I had this brilliant idea.  I will take a pen and shorthand all my brilliant ideas onto my arm as I run.  People see me running along, laughing hysterically to myself, scribbling all over my arm and think, "dang! that girl has really got things together!  can't wait to read this blog entry!"  But then I get home, shower, take Brett to school, do something with my children, put everyone down for a nap, sit at the computer and .........  since you all are higher life forms than myself I'm sure you already spotted the OBVIOUS problem.  You know, the scribble all over my arm, get home, shower part?

So today I get even more brilliant and plan to write everything down the second I get home.  You know, before I shower?  Oh, all the best laid plans.  Because today is the day I am going to run 5 whole k (because I only have 3 more practice days, EEP!) but today is also the day I get out of the house FORTY FIVE minutes later than usual.  So instead of the awe-inspiringly hilarious blog entry this was supposed to be, you can enjoy today's arm scribbles.

S.I.2.H = sun is too hot

I.H.T.S = i hate the sun

T.S.I.M.M.E = the sun is my mortal enemy

I.W.K.E =
I'm actually a little ashamed of this scribble.  Please keep in mind that today was supposed to be my day of total triumph.  Yesterday I ran a world-record breaking time of 26 consecutive minutes (totally smashed my previous record of 10) and today I was supposed to run minimum 35 minutes, maximum whole 5k.  I was going to at least complete the circuit even if I was cry walking by the end.  But today, well, I ran 18 min (just over 2 k) and then I cry-walked my apples home.  And in my bitter throws of agony I did not think "I want Kielbasa, Eminem!"  No, no.  My animosity towards running, and the sun, and delicious sausage extended to the world population.
I.W.K.E = i will kill everyone

I.W.K.E

Then a firetruck went by, and seriously
T.I.S.S.A.A.F.T = there is something sexy about a fire truck.

Cuz she's my Cuz, and she beat Cancer.

I'm one of the youngest of about a billion cousins, so unfortunately most of them grew up without me.  I'm finding out now how pretty awesome they are.  No one has had a lot of interest in me cause I just barely started being awesome in the last year or so.

Amber is definitely one of the awesomest. She is a fighter and a survivor.
Have you joined the fight?

I asked Amber to write a little somethin' for my blog and she (because like I said, she's awesome) obliged.  So listen up nuggets! (And oh my nerdiest reference I have ever made.  Please tell me you don't know what that is from or I'll die of embarrassment.)
______________________________________________

I was five months shy of my 29^th birthday when I received news that rocked my world.  The large lump in my right breast wasn’t a cyst.  It wasn’t a clogged milk duct.  It was a cancerous tumor.  And it wasn’t alone.  In fact, it had several nasty friends, throughout my breast, and they were plotting my demise.

 The surreal feeling that followed that revelation never did really leave.  Today, 8+ years later, it still seems strange to me that I’m one of those “one in eight” women that we’re always hearing about.  But I am.  

Several things have occurred to me since embarking on my cancer experience.  I’d like to share a handful of them.

First of all, it occurred to me that we really, really, REALLY need to be careful what we wish for.  I was an overly busty girl who always wished I could get a breast reduction.  Boy, did I get my reduction! 

Second, it occurred to me we’re, each of us, more than just a sum of our parts.  My amazing husband was key to putting that fact into perspective for me.  His unconditional love and devotion carried me through the emotional turmoil of the flat chest and the bald eyebrows and the shiny head.  He saw ME.  He helped me to see ME, too.  In turn, I now try to see others as they really are, not just as a sum of what I can see…their parts, but as a whole, divine creature.

Third, it occurred to me that there’s a certain coolness about having had breast cancer, especially having it so young.  Pink ribbons are trendy.  Facebook makes the news for breast cancer awareness gimmicks.  Celebrities have famously battled the disease.  We even have our own month.  Breast cancer awareness is hip!   I love it.  I hate it.

 I love it because I own stock in it, now.  I’m invested.  If they find a cure, I won’t have to worry about my daughters (I have 3) or my sisters (I have 4) or my other much-loved women (I have hundreds!) having to go through what I did.  I wouldn’t have to worry about it coming back.  That would be nice.

I hate it because I know SO many people who have struggled with cancer…skin cancer, lung cancer, bone cancer, brain cancer, lymphoma, leukemia, testicular cancer, oh, and a handful with breast cancer.  I hate that breast cancer seems to be THE cancer, the popular cancer that gets all the attention.  Cancer is Cancer.  All cancer is scary.  One in three people will get it in their lifetime.  I wish we could take the enthusiasm surrounding breast cancer awareness and support and apply it universally to ALL cancer.  I’m so grateful for events like the ACS Relay for Life.  It’s an event where no particular cancer is in the lime light.  We unite and battle ALL cancer, and celebrate ALL survivors.

Finally, it occurred to me that I don’t mind being a survivor.  Having cancer was a scary, difficult experience, but it’s one of many experiences that have made me who I am.  I wouldn’t undo it if I could.  Also, I have to admit…I got a pretty nice rack out of the deal.  Yes, they’re fake, but I don’t mind.  I actually really want someone to comment on them, some day so I can quote an awesome t-shirt I once saw: “Yes, they’re fake.  My real ones tried to kill me!”  I don’t mind that I no longer get the sore shoulders and back that my double E’s used to give me.  I don’t mind that gravity has lost some of its pull on “the girls”.  I don’t mind that I’m still alive and kicking.  I don’t mind that I am able to watch my two little girls become two beautiful young women.  I don’t mind that I was able to (with a little help from my hubby) bring three more gorgeous, brilliant, lively, wonderful children into our family.  I don’t mind that I savor life just a little bit more than I used to.  It’s a good life. 

An Update, an illegal video, and a flavor seizure.

1. Update

I can now run 2 miles.  Apparently I couldn't before now.  I want to kill myself.  Literally.  In a non-literal kind of way.  Go donate -- don't make me suffer for no reason!!!

2. I made this illegal video.  

3. A flavor Seizure.

Credit where credit is due.  It was Brett's idea.  But I did most of the work.  And it was a lot of work.  And they were totally delicious.

Can you say labor day tradition? 3X fast?

Will work for donations.

The Fine Print:  Raffle is open from 9/5/2011 until 9/28/2011 at 11:59 CST.  To enter click the link below (PayPal account not required) or send payment via PayPal to kriskrisphotography@gmail.com.  Minimum number of entrants required (okay it's a tiny minimum but still!), so pass the word!  There are no limits to the number of times you enter.  Winner will be notified before midnight on 9/29/2011 via email.  Included photography services are 1 hour of photography coverage by Kristina, disc or emailed files of ten (10) digital negatives with personal printing license agreement, and travel within Salt Lake and Utah Counties (UT), Lubbock County (TX), Sacramento County (CA), Boise and Ada Counties (ID) on any non-holiday date Kristina has available between 9/30/2011 and 12/31/2012

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Kristina walks 5000 miles (to kick cancer in the face)

I am running a 5k on October 1st to help raise money to find the cure for breast cancer, and I am going to ask for your money now so that you don't get distracted by my long-winded post and never make it to the end where I ask you to sponsor me and make a donation.  

You can donate here.

We will now return to my irregularly scheduled blog.

So you know how I posted almost a year ago now that I started running?  (of course you don't, you only recently started reading my blog because you googled Jimmy Fallon and for some reason this popped up.) Anyway about a year ago I posted that I had started running.  Well it was a lie esteven.  A lie!  I did run off and on for maybe 3 weeks.  And when I say run what I mean is that I ran for about 3 minutes and then cry-walked for 5 minutes, and then ran for 3 more minutes and then cry-walked for 5 more minutes, and after 30 minutes I leaned against a tree, threw up, and asked my husband to come get me, where ever I was (about a block from home, usually.)

Well every year 5k time starts rolling around and for some reason I think, "Yeah, that is something I want to do!" probably because I am a tiny bit masochistic.  Anyway I get this idea that I'm going to be a runner, and then I run maybe 2 or 3 times, and then the 5k draws closer and I think, "WTHeck dude, I'm not paying $30 to do something I hate."  And so I don't.

Well 5k season is coming around again.  And I'm starting to get the itch.  But I'm trying to be more realistic this time around.  I don't want to pay $30 to do something I hate.  And then it strikes me like a lightning bolt.  

People don't actually pay $30 to do something they hate (although some people do like it, but they aren't paying $30 to do something they like either, cause running is usually free.)  

Yes I am dumb.  It had never occurred to me that my $30 was going to cancer research.  Or whatever your 5k was for, but you get my point.  And in case you didn't, I will make it one more time.  In bold.  With a larger font.

I'm not paying $30 to do something I hate, I am paying $30 to kick Cancer in its FACE.

And thus I have found incentive to go out and do this.  So for the first time in my 28 years, I actually registered to run 5k to show breast cancer what's what.

Now I just have one problem.  I can run 2 miles, but that is about it.  I've been told that if I can run 2 miles now, then there's no reason I shouldn't be able to run 5k in one month.  But honestly peeps, I can't see myself being able to run 5 thousand miles EVER.  Let alone in 1 month!  So I need help.  I need you to keep me motivated.  Because I don't mind squandering my $30 and not showing up for the race, but I could never squander other peoples' monies.  

Give me your money.  

I mean donate your money to the cause.  And donate it here, under my name, so I know that someone out there is holding me accountable to not only kick cancer in it's face through monetary donation, but to tread over it in my sweet nikes as I cross the finish line (even though I will probably be cry-walking long before mile 4,999 rolls around.)

Now if you can't donate, I get that.  We are broke except for the few months right after student loans come in (which correspond perfectly with 5k season) so there have been plenty of times that "the cause" has come around and I've had to close the door and curtains in shame because I had nothing to offer.  First I will say, if you have $5, we'll take $5.  If you don't have $5, you obviously at least have the internet.  So pass it on.  My "Dear Jimmy Fallon" post was viewed 2,240 times.  That is NUTS.  And that was something that ultimately only affected ME.  So I thought, what if we could get this post circulated 2,240 X?  What if 1 in 10 people donated a measly $5?  That would be over $1,000.  And since my goal is only $100 (reach for the stars Kristina!) that would beyond blow me away.  In the face of our communal wrath, cancer doesn't stand a chance.

I would run 2,500 miles, and I would run 2,500 more just to be the (wo)man who ran 5,000 miles to fall down at Susan G. Komen's door (with an armload of your breast cancer fighting money).

**I am sure there are a number of you worried that I think a 5k is 5 thousand miles.  Don't worry,  I know perfectly well that a 5k is actually kilometers, not 5,000 miles.  But 5,000 kilometers is pretty far too!